People...

Ok.  So this is some stuff that I have been writing over the last few weeks and just have not had time to type out til right now.  If anyone knows me they know that I am kind of a people watcher.  I am not a creeper or anything.  I just like to observe people.  Maybe I am a little strange for that, but everyone watches people a little.  Those people are just afraid to admit it.

     Ok, so there is this guy in my classes who should maybe be beaten with a stick.  He is your fairly typical frat boy wanna be.  Shaggy hair, two day scruff, collar popped, you know the kind.  So he is talking in class about all of the colleges he has flunked out of or been kicked out of.  This guy has been to more colleges that me, evidently.  If anyone talks about anything or anyone then he always puts it down and talks about how dumb or stupid it is.  (ok.. I admit, I am as guilty as anyone at this) The other day we are in Historiography.  I sit in the middle of the second row and he sits right in front of me.  This class is not the most stimulating.  I make sure that I drink a red bull or other energy drink before I go in there.  So yeah. He sits on the front row directly in front of the teacher.  This one day it is fairly hot in class.  It was about 95 outside.  We are in class and this joker lays his head down on the desk and sleeps.  On the front row!  That just totally blew my mind.  That shows absolutley no respect for the professor.  Once this class ended I wanted to walk up the Mr. Thompson, our instructor, and shake him.  I did.  He should have sent the kid outside.  I personally may have told him to not come back. 
     Same class, different day.  We were talking about people who impacted history and we were comparing W.E.B. Dubois and Booker T. Washington.    Mr. Thompson asked a question and I answerd it 'Duboy' and the kid says 'no, its dubwah'.  This was the middle of class in front of everyone.  I told him that yes he was correct for the french, but the founder of the NAACP pronounced his name 'Duboy'.  So I am kinda fuming that someone would call me out in front of an upper level class and tell me I am wrong.  Its one thing if I am wrong, but in this situation I was correct.  THEN, I was sitting and we were about 15 minutes into class and he is fooling with his phone.  He hands it back to me and says 'here, look'.  It was the pronunciation guide on how to say the name.  I wanted to sling it against the wall... 

yeah.. That is really it.  That's what happened.  I may start a comic series based on this guy.  I could write a lot.  There is a bunch more that I have that I could write, but I will save it for later. 
Hope everyone has a great and wonderful day.

Races...

     I am sitting here on campus at Dalton just kinda taking a break from school work.  Today really feels like fall outside.  I am attempting to kinda shut down my brain for a few minutes and just chill.  As hard as I try to do this, I cant.  It is just not happening.  As I try to slow everything down all I can think about is what I am doing and where I am going and what I am attempting to accomplish.  I am currently living my life the best way I know how.  Every day I work and go to class.  I wish that I could work a few more hours and have a lil more money, but that just can not happen right now.  Every day I am working on school work.  Every day I am studying.  I am either reading or writing something for class.  Daily I am in a professor's office or the library. 
     I know that there are those out there who will scoff at me and tell me to cry them a river.   That is not what I am trying to do.  People will say that these are everyday, run of the mill, things.  I know that they are.  They are, however, things that I was not doing before this semester.  I always talked a big game when the semester started and would fall to the wayside by a couple of weeks in.  I was trying to just get by, but in that I was not accomplishing anything at all.  I was not even 'getting by'. 
  Right now I have so much motivation to finish this race strong.  I want to make people proud of me, I want to accomplish something.  I even want to prove things to people.  Those who are negative and doubting me.  I want to prove them wrong.  
     I started this race hard and fast, but somewhere I fell.  I lost the course.  I am back up on my feet, thanks to some genuine friends and outside motivation.  I am running harder than I ever have.  I may not win this race or have a great finishing time, but I will finish it. 


I know that this blog sounds like everything else I have ever writen.  I am sorry if anyone who reads this is bored.  I just had to sling ink to paper. 

The Real World or Who I am or Insert Title Here

The real world.  This concept is something that we have been told about all our lives.  'I can not wait to get in the real world', 'Just wait until you are in the real world'.  Where does it start?  What is it exactly?  My world feels pretty real right now.  I work everyday nearly 40 hours a week and go to school full time.  I have a few good friends and I have people in the world who are not real big fans of the Wilbur.  When I was young I wanted to be a fighter pilot.  I did not take my genes into account when I was six and made that decision.  I did not realize at the time that I would grow to be six foot and weigh 240.  That is quite a bit too big to be riding around in an F-14.  Here I am at 27 in my long awaited senior year of college.  Finally I feel like I am doing everything right.I am really excited about my life and where it will take me.  I hate that it has taken me this long, but I am here.  I can not dwell on what has already happened.  I can not keep going back to my failures when I get down.  I know what I want to do with my life, I know who I am going  to spend it with.  I have never, never felt as confident as I do right now. Rain will still fall, I will still slip, but I can get back up.  I know how to get back up.    I fully understand how this real world works.  I am just excited that I am finally starting to see who I am.  I have lived my whole life unsure about that.  Unsure of how I feel, unsure of how to react.  Right now, somewhere within the last few months I have found Will Bradley.  He is a man who wants to love people.  He is a man who wants to work in God's creation.  He is a man who has finally figured it out that it is better to please God than people. I could type on this all night.  If anyone reads this I hope that you get something from it.  I actually needed to put this down on digital paper.  It is something that I have been wanting to get out. Now, I have.

I wish that I could make this the coolest, most hip blog that you have ever read.  Maybe there happens to be someone out there who thinks that it is.  Maybe, per chance, there is someone who is patiently waiting for me to publish this post.  There are so many directions that I could take this particular post into right now. I could discuss the state of my life and  how things are really going better than they have in a while and how I actually and honestly have a new drive and desire in life and how I am figuring out who I really am and who I am supposed to be.  I could talk about how the Braves are in first in the division and how they really look good.  I could write about college football starting in a week.  I just do not know.  Maybe one day I will be able to make sense.  Maybe this will become something more than a public journal.  Maybe I will bring back the lists.  I love making my lists.  They make me smile.

Why does loneliness just creep in.  We don't even expect it, but then there it is.  it jumps up and gets you.  out of no where...  That is where I am right now.  I am totally surrounded by people, good people.  Friends.  But there is one who I miss so much that it just totally drowns everything else out.  So I sit here and type and sound like I am bipolar, but I am not.  I am just a guy who is in love.  1,500 miles is a long way.

Day 2

Ok. So yeah.  I am going crazy.  That is all.  Maybe it will be better tomorrow...  I doubt it.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I am going to class. Then work. Then I am going to drive to Cleveland to see the one I love. I am so excited. That is what makes everything better.

Wow. It is the middle of spring and, well, I don't know what to say. I just can not believe how fast the last four months have gone by. School is going better than it has in a long time. Life is amazing. I just don't want summer to get here. I have work and school to keep me busy and to keep my mind off of it, but it is still going to be summer. Time keeps pushing us forward regardless of whether we want to go or not. I want to go forward, I like to think that I always have. Deep down, though, I know that is not true. Right now I have reasons to push forward, to do things right. I just want to find Doc Brown and have him take me to the future... The future is what I am running for. What I am longing for. I love the here and now. I do. I love every day. I just want to get life started.

The Book list

This week I have been thinking about music and books and what makes them good, or what makes a person like them. I have really never sat down and written out what my favorite books are. I have a bunch of books that I like and that I have read. This is by no means an exhaustive list. It is really just a list of the most memorable and meaningful books that I have read. There is no order, no best and worst of the best. The numbers are simply there in order to keep count.

1. A Walk in the Woods- Bill Bryson

This book is a great take on the Appalachian Trail. Bryson is rediscovering his native country and decides the best way to do that is to walk the trail. This is one book that has really given me a desire to hike the AT.

2. The Things They Carried- Tim O'Brien

This is O'Brien's memoir of the war in Vietnam. I read a short story from this book my senior year in high school. This book talks about the war and the reasons behind it, but it also digs deeper into the men who fought the war. I laughed and cried with this one.

3. The Road- Cormac McCarthy

Post apocolyptic/nuclear holocaust novel. McCarthy is one of my favorite authors. The chemistry and relationship between the father and son in this story is amazing. To what ends would you go to survive and protect the only thing that you have left?

4. A Walk Across America- Peter Jenkins

Jenkins has recently graduated college and is recently divorced in this book. He walks away from everything in 1973 to find the real America. This is another book that really makes me want to just walk. To throw on a pack and leave.

5. Bleachers- John Grisham

I love Grisham's law novels, but this is not a law novel. Bleachers is a book about small town life and football. I read it in next to no time. It is not a very intimidating read, but it is a great book.

6. The Daybreakers- Louis L' Amour

I know that L'Amour wrote a million books. I also know that many of his works run together. This book is my favorite of his. It is part of the Sackett series. It was the first L'Amour book that I read. It is one that you cant put down.

7. Ender's Game- Orson Scott Card

Book about a kid who has to save the world from aliens. What can get any better than that?

8. Monster- Frank Peretti

Peretti is a great author and this was the second book by him that I have read. It really makes you think about what is right and what is wrong. It also takes the whole 'If you have not seen it then it does not mean that it does not exist' idea into account.

9. Friday Night Lights- H.G. Bissinger

Everyone has seen the movie, but I recommend that you go out and get the book. If all else fails ask me and I will loan you the copy that my brother stole from our high school library. The book covers things that the movie could not. It goes into detail about the oil bust and the de-segregation that was taking place in Texas during the 1980's. The characters are deep and complex. These are real people. That is what makes this book so good is that it is real.

10. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil- John Berendt

I always heard that this was one of those books that you should read if you like southern literature. I found it for a quarter and read it in two days. Part fiction part reality it is a book that kind of haunts you. I really like how the city of Savannah was as much a main character as anyone else.

11. The Orchard Keeper- Cormac McCarthy

This was McCarthy's first novel and may be his best. As I have stated before, I am a big fan of McCarthy and am tying to read all of his books. This book is in the same vein as William Faulkner and that is a good thing. It is another book that takes place in the south. Knoxville, Tennessee area to be precise. McCarthy paints this book, he does not write it. The characters and landscapes are beautifully written.

The Music List

Alyssa and I were discussing music yesterday. We got into the subject of favorite songs. What makes a favorite song? Everyone has songs that mean something, or that they just like for no reason. This is my list. Numbers in this list mean nothing. They are just there to keep track of things. These are my songs in no particular order.

1. Melissa- Allman Brothers Band

*No story behind this song for me. It is just a great song. I love it.

2. Lonesome, I know you too well- Shawn Mullins

* Great song, got me through hard times...

3. Rural Route- Chris Knight

* Describes the way that I feel quite often. All about being in the middle of no where.

4. Yellow Ledbetter-Pearl Jam
* Great guitar tone, McCready sounds like a combination of SRV and Jimi Hendrix on this one..

5. Alabama- Cross Canadian Ragweed

* I love the idea of this song. gives a feeling that i just cant explain..

6. Helpless- Neil Young

7. Box of Rain- Grateful Dead

I am tired, eyes are droopy, ill finish this later...